jenny lewis

(no subject)

I've never been so ready to go back to school.

I feel like its the only time that I'm able to actually get out my creativity, even if I'm not doing anything particularly crafty. I love taking notes in class. I love studying and taking tests.

But that leads me to the fact that I just don't know what I want to do with my life. Sure, I could be a teacher. But seeing my boyfriend's first year has shown me that it's no longer about having the ability to teach or manage a lesson, but its all about being a babysitter. The current and upcoming generation has such a lack of respect and their parents feel like they have no reason to teach their children; they believe its all up to the parents. Those are the things that you don't learn in college.

So if I'm not a teacher, what in the world could I do? Well, when I was in middle school, I always wanted to be an architect. Sadly, I suck majorly at geometry and math, and I don't even think that Winthrop has a major for drafting. Lately, I've been reading Emily Giffin novels and I am so jealous of each of her characters. I've gone from feeling like I want to be involved in public relations (Darcy from "Something Blue"), a lawyer (Rachel from "Something Borrowed"), or working in a publishing company (Claudia from "Baby Proof").

The first thing that you're supposed to do when trying to decide a career, I always thought, was to think about what subjects in school you liked the most. Well, there's my problem. I didn't like science, so that field is out. I liked statistics, but no other types of math. English was good, but I liked studying the books; I can't think of a time where I actually finished a book. (Sparknotes was my best friend.) So that's why I decided on a career involving social sciences. The political science major though didn't work out so well. I'm more of a fact kind of person, there were too many theories involved in it. I changed to history, but now I'm just not convinced that I want to teach. I'm an extremely emotional person and I don't think that I could handle being in a classroom with unruly students. I would end up being fired because I freaked out on one of them...

At one time, I was considering transferring to Clemson University and majoring in marketing in order to follow to advertising/PR track. I would like to do that now, but now I'm so afraid that I'm behind and won't graduate in time. I don't want to feel like a loser and be behind all of my friends. I know so many girls who have said "I'm supposed to be graduating this week" and seeing the looks on their faces. Four years just isn't enough to figure out what you want to do with your life, and if you change it, you don't have enough time.
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